Monday, 8 June 2015

Writing Portfolio Sample

In class I have been learning about complex sentences. We were given a video to watch  called ''Mouse For Sale". Then my teacher said that we had to write about the story but we could change parts of the story. Example: ( I changed the storyline and also the characters within the story). The Mouse for Sale video was like our motivation!
The Video: "Mouse For Sale".

Big Idea:
A Complex Sentence is when you have a simple sentence and then add a sentence to add on to it. ( The sentence that you add on shouldn't make sense on it's own). Example: Hannah is a girl. That makes sense on it's own but it is quite a boring sentence. To make a complex sentence you could say: Hannah is a girl, with long flowy hair. If you just said 'with long flowy hair' it wouldn't make sense.
Here is my Writing, ( The red is where I have put a complex sentence).

Feedback and FeedForward:
Wow Hannah! I am very impressed on how many complex sentences you can fit into one story! You should be proud. I have one question for you. "If you had no idea what a complex sentence was, would that affect the quality in your writing?" -Aye :D

I think I did a good job using complex sentences, I tried hard to use complex sentences and I found it quite hard. I think that if you didn't use complex sentences and you didn't know about them your writing would be ok but if you did use complex sentences your writing it would be much more interesting.

A few days later we did some collaborative writing I did it with Alyssa. It was the same type of writing, watching a video and then rewriting it with our own twist.
This is the video that I watched Peck Pocketed:

Here is my collaborative writing:


  1. Hannah, this really is an amazing piece of writing. The level of descriptive language you used makes it so easy for the reader to follow and they are hanging on your every word. You show an excellent understanding of complex sentences and from the amount of red on your page, it shows how well you have used these. Next goal? Think about how dialogue is shown in books that you read, if you didn't know the story, it might be hard for the reader to figure out what is said, what is thought and what is spoken.

  2. Great descriptions and detail in your writing Hannah, well done!